By: Diamond Phelps, Registered Counseling Associate
Everyone has experienced pain, trials, and tribulations. Deciding to go to therapy is a bold and brave decision. Many of us carry trauma we’ve endured, often downplaying our struggles because we believe others may have it worse. However, trauma is not something we consciously choose or rank; our bodies and brains determine what is traumatic. A trigger for one person may not resonate with another, and that’s okay. It is not our job to decide who has it worse or whose pain is more valid.
Healing Looks Different for Everyone
Similarly, we don’t get to define what healing looks like for others. Healing is a journey unique to each individual. When you work with a therapist, you gain a companion who walks alongside you as you navigate the complexities of your personal challenges. Whether you’re healing from years of abuse and neglect, an acute traumatic event, low self-esteem, identity struggles, postpartum depression, anxiety, or something else, therapy provides a safe space to unpack these experiences.
The Process Takes Time
This process can vary widely. For some, it may take years to uncover and address a lifetime of hurt and pain. For others, it might take months to sort through the dynamics of an unhealthy situation. Healing could involve forgiving a parent, giving grace, or walking away from a toxic relationship. Whatever your path, it won’t be easy, and it will take time.
Building Connection With Your Therapist
Building a connection with your therapist is key. As you work through life’s disappointments and challenges, you may start therapy with a clear picture of what you think healing looks like, only to discover it evolves along the way. And that’s perfectly okay. Your journey is your own and will not mirror your friend’s journey, even if they seem to have found peace after six months of therapy. You have no way of knowing what they’ve worked on or what they’ve endured. Stay focused on your goals and the direction you want to head.
Expect a Range of Emotions
It’s normal to experience a range of emotions during therapy. You might feel irritated or annoyed with yourself, your therapist, or even those around you. It can be frustrating when people in your life don’t grow or change alongside you. It’s also natural to feel annoyed when your therapist challenges and pushes you—this is often a sign of growth. Communicate these feelings; they’re part of the process.
Practice Self-Compassion
Finally, you may feel anger toward yourself. This too is normal. Instead of dwelling on these feelings, practice self-compassion. Thank yourself for surviving and getting this far. Healing is a journey, and you get to define it. Embrace the ups and downs, and trust that every step forward—no matter how small—is progress.